| | So check it...you may have been with me (PK) in the launch of my first blog - the 12 Rules of Men and Women (I kind of miss writing in it). Anyhowser in this blog we are going to focus on different careers and why you don't need to be chained to your cube from 9-5pm everyday. Anyhow since I started jobpodge a while ago people have written some really crazy job experiences so I thought I'd post a few of them here. So lets start it off with the first real life job description...the Night Club Bouncer...
Real Life Job Description of the Week:
Night Club Bouncer - San Francisco, CA
Pay Range:
$0 - $20,000
Education:
On the job training, Martial arts helps, not req.
Pros:
This is more the tricks of the trade to being a bouncer:
1. You must be very very patient to be a bouncer. Pretty much all the time fools are drunk before they come to your club’s door. You must maintain a serious attitude but appear happy because an angry bouncer is not good for the club attendance.
2. If an incident should happen, or a guy should get up in your face or be belligerant you must maintain calmness. Keep the guy talking when people are angry. As I would say, use your “mouthpiece” first.
3. The most important thing is to be very respectable even when the dude is all up in your face calling you whatevers. When it gets serious I always address the drunk belligerent asshole with “sir”. Step down “sir”, etc. If they think you are disrespecting them then you got a fight on your hands. And you don’t want that cus you can get sued.
4. Keep your hands in your pocket.
5. If this all doesn’t work and the guy lays hands on you, it’s on like donkey kong, you can now feel free to blast him in his face.
Cons:
This is going to be a story about a crappy night.
The incident started off with a guy at the bar. So we got a really sexy bartender, and this guy starts harassing her, calling her this and that, making a scene. Club manager calls me says escort this dude out. I get there and he’s drunk off his ass. So finally after a lot of cussing asking why he has to leave I get him outside. I thought it was over but then this prick starts calling me this and that.
I’m black, so you can guess what he is calling me. He’s a young punk. So I’m saying this is why you have to leave, then he’s calling me all this stuff. I’m cool with him calling me whatevers it happens. But when he started disrespecting a woman it was time to get his ass gone.
Our hostess girl comes out and she’s a caucasion girl, so then he starts saying jungle fever whatever and telling her to suck his….whatevers. At this point I’m like you need to leave now, get away from the club. Then this dude gets in my face and straight pushes me trying to knock me over. Now I’m a thick guy so I lean back, ready myself, and throw a short right and then a left hook, but I just grazed his cheek. Thinking back I’m glad I just grazed him. So then I turn around and make sure the hostess girl is ok, and she screams “watch out behind you!”, but I know he’s coming. I had already grabbed the MACE that was in my pocket. This shit is potent, you need a license for the mace I used on this dude. So before he could connect I give it two squirts in his face. 5 seconds later, his ass is screaming on the ground wondering why he can’t see. I then put him against the wall around the corner, call the police, file my report, and then take him away. All in all a shitty night, but I felt good getting the guy with mace, though not as good as I would’ve felt if my left hook would’ve connected.
Daily Job Functions / Overview:
Background: 1. You have to have a pretty good memory because you have to remember ins and outs. A trick that I use is to remember clothes.
2. Some clubs only want bouncers 6’3” and above. I say that’s overrated cus they are slow on their feet.
3. Just as most security jobs you will have to watch and be a bodyguard type when money drops are done at the club.
Perks: 1. I try to shy away from offerings and bribes, BUT if you do want to bribe a bouncer don’t come with no $5 bill. That’s just cheap and stupid. At the least, and what is respected to cut the line and go in is $20 on top of cover and I’ll let you skip the line with your party.
2. Women are the worst, always be trying to get in for free. The offer nothing in terms of money and try to sweet talk me all the time. Showing legs, some booty, and the occasional breast. Best thing I’ll do is let them in front of the line, they still pay cover though.
3. Common misperception: bringing girls will get you in the club for free. All this buys you as a guy is you pay cover and your girls get in for free. That’s it. Typical ratio is 4 girls to one guy.
For more real life job descriptions you can check:
jobpodge.com - real life job descriptions
Laters ya'll...and if you want me to republish the 12 Rules of Men and Women let me know via a comment and I'll put them up again.
PK
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| | Posted 6/11/2006 2:44 AM - 3974 Views - 6 eProps - 3 comments
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